Coaching Stories
Dona's Story
When she contacted me, Dona was a successful independent businesswoman who had been marketing and delivering a proprietary writing skills workshop for nearly ten years. She said that at this point in her life, she either needed to ramp up her business or sell it, but she was having trouble making a decision about what to do, so she wanted help in sorting it out.After starting the coaching process, Dona began to shift her focus and started to talk about wanting to build new dreams. As she pursued creating new goals for herself, she said that she always wanted to write a book, though she had a fair amount of resistance about it. We worked on Dona's resistance and she eventually realized that she did have important things to say, and writing a book became her new pursuit.
Next Dona began the difficult work of converting her dream into action. This is the hardest - and most important part - of the coaching relationship. Knowing what you want to change about yourself is one thing, and quite another to actually change it. Over the next several months Dona took the many steps required to formulate a book proposal and find a willing publisher. My role was to help her think through her actions, work through resistance as it came up, and hold her accountable to her plan.
Dona was thrilled when McGraw-Hill/Irwin accepted her proposal to author a college textbook on business communications. When they contacted her, they told her that her voice set her writing apart, making her proposal unique among the many proposals they receive. As a result of the self-discovery work Dona completed during the coaching process, she got clearer about herself - her values, strengths and passions. In the process, Dona's writing changed, becoming an authentic reflection of who she is.
In Dona's Words...
"Dave and I started working together because I wanted to make some changes in my life and stretch myself. Not only did I meet these goals, I surpassed them. As we continued to work together, I discovered things about myself and my dreams that surprised even me.While I was writing my first book proposal, Dave commented that he couldn't hear my voice. So I went back to the drawing board and wrote until Dave said that he could hear my voice. Finding my voice was the turning point which brought everything else together and made all the difference in my writing. Without my work with Dave, I doubt that I would have found my true voice because I wasn't even looking for it.
Before working with Dave, I had started several books, but I never made it past the table of contents. As a result of our work together, I am now a published author by my favorite publishing company. But more importantly, I have found my voice: working with Dave has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and I continue to find it a rich experience."
Epilogue
Dona has completed two college textbooks for McGraw-Hill/Irwin, which have both received rave reviews. Today she is working on her third book.
Steve's Story
After more than 30 years as a sales professional in the telecommunications industry, Steve felt it might be time to make a significant career change. He contacted me because he was having difficulty figuring out what work would best fit his interests.Not long after we began our work together, Steve was faced with an important decision. His company offered a one-time opportunity to take a voluntary separation package. After talking it through, Steve decided to take the package and put his full attention on recreating himself.
After intense examination of his past successes, talents, passions, and purpose, Steve realized that he had a natural love for coaching, though he wasn't confident in his skills. His next move was to enroll in an accredited coach training program. Midway through his training process he launched a private coaching practice. Our coaching sessions during this time focused on the work of defining and establishing a practice that best fit his coaching style.
After launching his practice, Steve became unsettled. During one of our sessions, he realized that what he really wanted was to focus on the work of coaching; leaving marketing and sales to someone else. At this point, Steve was very clear about what he wanted for himself, so he set out to find it.
It has always been true that others notice, and are most helpful, when we are clear about what we are looking for. Through his networking activities, Steve learned about a telecommunications company that had hired a small group of coaches to work with their executives. This felt like an ideal environment to Steve, so he contacted the woman managing the initiative. Shortly after their first meeting, Steve was hired to join the coaching group.
In Steve's Words...
"I can't begin to thank Dave enough for the impact his coaching has had on my life. If, at its most fundamental and critical level, coaching is about connection -- about establishing a degree of connectedness that supports the client's ability to open up to new possibilities -- then he truly is the master I have always felt him to be. Dave is a wise, gentle, and generous man, and his approach to his work will forever serve as a model for me as I go about doing mine. Dave challenged, inspired, motivated, reassured, encouraged, held accountable, taught, guided, and supported me in so many different ways. I'll just say that I can't imagine having arrived at the place in which I now find myself without all that he has done for me. I admired his presence during our sessions, his authenticity and genuine desire to be of service, and his ability to so quickly get to the heart of the matter. I thank Dave for creating a space in which I felt safe taking risks, stretching myself, and exploring new territory with such gratifying results. I owe him so much, and will forever be grateful."Epilogue
Steve got off to a fast start in his corporate coaching position and along with his team, was recognized with a major award for coaching excellence at the 2006 International Coach Federation conference in St Louis. I spoke with him recently and he's starting to pursue another of his dreams, to become a jazz drummer.
Vickie's Story
One day an email popped into my inbox from Vickie, inquiring about coaching. She summed up her frustration with her current job by saying "I am very unhappy with the law firm life. My job makes it very difficult to have any balance and I find it ridiculous that I am sitting in a job that is not in any way rewarding and is simply stressful, boring, and depleting."Vickie had an urgent need to make changes in her life, so during each coaching session, we divided our time between a plan for getting her out of her current work situation, and the deeper question of finding work that truly fit her values and beliefs. For Vickie it was necessary to get out of her current, toxic work environment as soon as possible, so within two months she started a new job at a different law firm.
The fresh start gave Vickie an opportunity to set new boundaries for herself. During the interview process she was clear about her life-work balance requirements, and the firm agreed. Now she was able to focus on the larger question of finding work that fit. During this time we further explored Vickie's preferred work environment, most enjoyed talents, and work values. She also wrote a personal purpose statement.
Vickie eventually discovered it wasn't the practice of law that was the problem; rather, it was the adversarial part of litigation that was in direct conflict with her values. With the new realization that rather then pursue a career change, what she needed to do was fine-tune her work, Vickie knew she had what she needed to finish her transition on her own.
In Vickie's Words...
"In June 2002 I had reached a crossroads in my career as an associate attorney. I was working in a large law firm and making a very good salary but over the course of one year I had become very unhappy in a job that I knew was not a good fit for me. When I met Dave in July of 2002, I was considering leaving the practice of law but wanted to make sure that I made a well-thought out decision before I left.Through a series of exercises and meetings, Dave helped me identify my strengths and weaknesses and what is really important to me at this point in my life. Over the course of several months, I learned a lot about what I liked and did not like. He was able to ask the questions that I probably would not have asked myself that made it much easier to see what makes me tick. Dave helped me set up an action plan and a time-table to accomplish the goals that I set for myself.
Ultimately, I decided that I do want to practice law but I wanted a different kind of practice. I am glad that I decided to work with Dave because I am not sure that I would have reached what I know was the best decision for me. Alternatively, even if I had ultimately reached the decision to remain in the legal profession, I do not believe that the process would have been as quick as it was with Dave's assistance."
Epilogue
A year later, I received the following email from Vickie:"I just wanted to drop you a note and update you on the things that have developed for me. I credit my time with you for giving me the courage to make the changes that I have made. I am truly the happiest I have ever been in my life.
I live across the street from the ocean - a lifelong dream...(in my new job) I get to use my law degree and prior work experience, but I no longer have to litigate, work like a dog, or exploit people's weaknesses...I exercise at least an hour a day - outside. And most importantly, I have time to maintain and grow the relationships that are important to me. Last year is a very distant memory.
